


How Many Days Can Make up a Lifetime

by Cr4b4ppl3



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Blood and Gore, Crying, Death, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Fucked Up, Fucked Up Shit, Gamzee Makara and Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Gore, Homestuck - Freeform, I'm Sorry, Kanaya Maryam/Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Karkat Hates Himself, Karkat Needs a Hug, Karkat needs help, M/M, Minor Gamzee Makara/Terezi Pyrope, Multi, Pain, Physical Abuse, Physical Torture, Problems, Psychological Torture, Sad, Sadstuck, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Abuse, Sober Gamzee Makara, Suicidal Thoughts, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Torture, What Have I Done, davekat - Freeform, dont worry it isnt all that bad..., everyone dies, rosemary, so many dead daves, some happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:16:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5018926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cr4b4ppl3/pseuds/Cr4b4ppl3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU basically where everyone dies but karkat</p><p>Suffer.</p><p>Shout out to the incredibly fucked up turd who started this whole thing damn thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Setting Sun

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO BACKGROUND  
> in world where rose never went grimdark so she did not die and her original plan to destroy the green sun alone went as planned. Since dave was not with her she never road on the moon of derse there so for her quest bed was not there and her dreamself died without godtiering. Rose is still alive but she is not a godtier. Somehow dave godtiered along the way. All the betta kids are on the Prospitian Battleship, into the new session.  
> As for the Trolls everything is the same execpt Aradia and Sollux decide to join Karkat, Kanaya, Terezi and Gamzee on the meteor into the new session.

It was just an average day on a meteor that was flying through the void. The events about to take place would change Karkat Vantas’ life forever.

* * *

 

The dark meteor was unnervingly still for a rock that was flying at the speed of light. No one was in the halls, they were unusually quiet that day. Everyone was minding their own business, isolating themselves to their own rooms, enjoying the peace and quiet that would not last.

  
You were alone in your room, trying to pass the time on this god forsaken rock. It hadn’t even been one sweep since you and the other trolls had set off for the new session. And god were you sick of it. The longer you were on the meteor, the more you worried about meeting the humans. You wondered how much they had changed. Would they be the same? One and a half sweeps was a long time, a lot could change. 

A sudden beep from your husktop snaps you out of thought causing you to jump out of your chair, sickle in hand and teeth baring. You looked around your room only to find it empty. Your husktop beeps a second time, sighing you put down your sickle. Always being on your guard was tiring, draining, but that was the price to pay for being you. The price of living, always allowing that color to flow through your veins. You suppose maybe one day you wont always have to be on guard. It was true your friends could care less about it, but that color would always send fear down your spine. Maybe one day you could change, but it seemed unlikely.

There was a third beep, and then a forth, and a fifth. Holy ever living fuck, who ever was messaging you desperately wanted your attention. Slowly sitting back down in your chair you open up Trollian seeing what impatient bulging migraine wanted to talk to you now. You couldn't help but roll your eyes.

 ****

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: YO BULG3MUNCH, 1 N33D TO T4LK TO YOU

GC: KK

GC: PL34S3 R3SPOND. P4US3 YOUR 4WFUL ROMCOM FOR TWO M1NUT3S

GC: OH GOG OH GOG, FUCK

GC: K4RK4T P34S3 R3SPOND!

CG: SWEET ALMIGHTY TAINTCHAFING FUCK TEREZI

CG: WHAT IS IT?

GC: 1 TH1NK G4MZ33 1S GO1NG TO GO ON 4NOTH3R MURD3R R4MP4G3

You can feel the words on the screen burn into your irises, you shook your head praying that this was some sort of a joke. Oh god it had to be kind of sick joke. Your hands shake as you type your message.

GC: YO....

CG: OH GOD YEAH

CG: YEAH

CG: POSSIBLE MURDEROUS JUGGALO ON THE LOOSE....AGAIN.

CG: FAN-FUCKING-TASICK

CG: PLEASE TEREZI, PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU ARE JUST OVER REACTING AND THAT THIS IS JUST A BUNCH OF FROTHING LOONEYBLOCK NONSENSE

CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT. BECAUSE I SERIOUSLY DONT THINK I CAN HANDLE ANOTHER FUCKING KILLING SPREE. SURE HE MAY OF FLIPED HIS SHIT BEFORE, BUT AT LEAST I COULD CALM HIS ASS DOWN. I CAN KEEP THE CLOWN ON A LEASH. I MEAN FOR FUCKSAKE HES MY FUCKING MORIAL, I CAN FUCKING HADLE HIM.

 You hold your breath waiting for her reply.

GC: K4RK4T DO YOU TH1NK 1'D B3 JOK1NG 4BOUT TH4T SH1T? 1'M FUCK1NG SUR3 OF 1T.

GC: TH3 FUCK3R W4S JUST 1N MY QU4RT3RS W4LK1NG 4ROUND CH4NT1NG TO H1MS3LF. H3 K3PT S4Y1NG HOW 1’D LOOK SO MUCH PR3TT13R 1F 1 H4D MY T34L BLOOD P41NT3D ONTO MY BODY 4ND 1 QUOT3 “COV3R1N TH3 MOTH3RFUCK1NG W4LLS L1K3 4 MUR4L OF M1R4CL3S.” TH3N H3 S41D H3’D 4DD SOM3 CH3RRY R3D 4ND … HOW H3’D K1LL FOR 4 B1T OF J4D3 TOO.

GC: SHOULD 1 GO ON?! TH1S 1S NO DR1LL! TH3S3 4R3 TH3 COLD H4RD F4CTS!

GC: 1T… TH4T’S NOT 3V3N TH3 FULL 3XT3NT OF 1T K4RK4T. H3.. H3

GC: H3 K1SS3D M3. ON TH3 L1PS

GC: 1T W4S GOGD4MN D1SGUST1NG

GC: 1’M SCARED KARKAT.

CG: WAIT...HE KISSED YOU?

 You feel a rush of relief wash over you like warm water. Closing your eyes you sigh, good. This was good. He wasn't getting his murder on. How could Terezi not see? It was so painfully obvious. 

GC: W3LL GOSH PO1ND3XT3R NOT L1K3 1 JUST FUCK1N SA1D TH4T

GC: *S1GH* WH4T’S 1T M4TT3R NOW

CG: OF COURSE THAT MATTERS!!

CG: JESUS TEREZI, I KNOW YOUVE NEVER HAD A KISMESIS BEFORE, BUT ARE YOU THAT NAÏEVE? HE IS DEFINITELY WAXING PITCH FOR YOU!

CG: PITCH RELATIONSHIPS FUCKING REVOLVE AROUND THAT SHIT, TRUST ME.

CG: LOOK....LEMMIE JUST FIND GAMZEE AND SHOOSH PAP HIS CLOWN ASS TILL HE CALMS THE FUCK DOWN.

CG: THEN WILL YOU STOP WORRYING?

GC: 1… 1 GU3SS SO

GC: B3 C4R3FUL YOU GRUMPFUCK

CG: UGH FINE 

CG: I WILL BE MORE CAREFUL. 

CG: I STILL THINK YOU ARE OVERREACTING THOUGH. 

CG: JUST TELL ME IF HE TRIES ANYTHING DUMB SO I CAN CALM HIM DOWN.

GC: <3

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

CG: <3

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] 

 

You captchalogued your husktop incase Terezi started to freak out again. You had to be ready for her, the last thing you would want for her is to be scared. You also captchalogued your sickle. You don't know why you did this, it just seemed right. You knew nothing was going to happen but you did promise Terezi you would be careful. So here is you being careful, you shook your head as you walked out of your room.

You began to make your way down the halls towards Gamzee's room. You figured that was smart place to look, but then again that fucking Juggalo could be anywhere. It was like trying to find a poisoned needle in a stack of needles... Even though you had been on this meteor for god knows how long it was still hard to navigate. The halls were all dark, looking too similar to not be confusing. If you had a boonbuck for every time you got lost you...well you would have a shit ton of boondollars.

But you remembered you had to take at least three rights to get to Gamzee's room. Wait or was it three lefts? God this place is a fucking labyrinth.

* * *

You had been wandering around for what seems to be forever, and you still haven't Gamzee yet. Although you did stumble across a few hidden rooms, which was pretty cool you guess. Things were not always as they seem in this place, so you couldn't take anything for granted. This was pointless. Somewhere deep down you knew you were never going to find him from the start. The only way to actually find Gamzee was only if he wanted to be found. It always seemed like he knew where you were and how to find you at all times.

A sudden beep echoed though out the hall, it was probably Terezi wanting an update, you had been walking around aimlessly for quite sometime. Sitting down you took out your husktop and opened up Trollian. 

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: HONK

Your eyes widened as the mutated blood in your veins turned to ice. You remembered this all too well when Gamzee snapped for the first time. Your heart raced as you typed your message with shaky fingers.

CG: ....

CG: GAMZEE?

GC: you should have listen to your teal blooded girlfriend, brother

CG: OH FUCK OHFUCKOHFUCK

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?!?!

CG: GAMZEE WHERE THE EVER LOVEING FUCK IS SHE???

GC: heh heh

GC: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL HAVE TO MOTHERFUCKING COME AND SEE, PALEBRO

GC: terecita and i are waiting for you in her motherfucking room

GC: MAYBE YOU CAN SHOOSH ME BACK TO NORMALCY BEFORE OUR LITTLE TEAL SISTER LOSES TOO MUCH BLOOD ;o)

GC: honk. **  
**

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Your stomach dropped upon reading the messages Gamzee had sent you. You had been so wrong, so wrong, so fucking wrong! And now oh god oh god Terezi Terezi Terezi. You stood up and abandoned your husktop, it didn't matter at all. Bolting towards Terezi's room, you began to feel dizzy from fear. Your heart was pounding as you could only imagine the worst. The things he must be doing to her. The way she must be feeling- You shook your head. N-no mustn't let your mind go there. Your thinkpan must be clear and ready for almost anything...almost.

The only sound that filled the hallways was the loud hurried thumps of the soles of your shoes. This couldn't be happening, you just wanted to kick yourself. Terezi wasn't the one who was naïve it was you. It was all your fault, if only you didn't dismiss her fear, if only you were a better matesprit, if only you weren't the most absolute disgusting bucket of festering discharge in Paradox Space, if only you weren't you.

After every twist and turn you felt like you were getting no where. Everything looks the same, it was just an never ending maze. Hell you don't even know if you were going the right way. A burning sensation began to throb under your left side. Fuck! Damn your lack of endurance. Ignoring the pain you began to pick up your speed. You had to get to her, you just had to-

Turning another corner you slammed into someone which caused you to jump back with terror. You quickly regain your balance, arming yourself with you sickle, to almost faint with relief when you realized that someone you bumped into was Terezi.

"Terezi!" You screamed running up to her, she looked a bit started by your ought burst. Never in a million sweeps would you been so fucking joyful to see another troll. You grab her hands and intertwine them with your shaky ones, "Holy limp fronded stooge! You're okay!"

"What did I tell you Karkat! He's gone fucking nuts." She exclaimed. You heard her begin to speak again but in all seriousness you don't give a flying enflamed douche nozzle. The only thing that was on your mind if Terezi is hurt. Looking her over you see she had no real damage, but there was a bit of fresh teal that dipped down her lip.

A bolt of guilt hit you, if you had actually believed her before maybe you could of prevented that...Oh god what if she had actually died? Thank god she wasn't hurt too much. You realized Terezi was still speaking so you nod and catch the end of what she was saying. "He’s still back there, I tried to jam the door to my room shut but that probably won’t hold him...Jegus Karkat, he’s really gone off the deep end, and…." Terezi trailed off as she sniffed the air, her face twisted up in concern as she squeezed your hands.

"Karkat you’re shaking, are you okay?"

Your eyes widened, you hadn't realized you were shaking like a goddamn leaf, "He messaged me through your account like fucking last time!" Those messages were going to haunt you for quite some time. You grip onto her hands as if you were never going to let go,"Fucking christ Terezi. I actually thought you were dying!"

Her eyes widened as she formed an 'o' with her mouth. "W-what the fuck, oh gog come here." She pulled you in an embrace in an attempt to stop you from being the one to freak the fuck out. You wrapped your arms around her a bit too tight feeling her warmth, "I’m here, alright? I’m okay I’m… dude i’m about to crushed lighten up a bit."

"Fuck...I'm sorry, fuck!" Letting go of her you looked away. "I just need to find Gamzee and fucking calm him down again!"

"Karkat wh- fuck, no! That’s not an option karkat!" She retorted.

Turning back to face her, a surge of anger pulsated through you, "What the hell do you mean its not an option!! I'm his fucking moirail! That's what moiralis fucking do! Just let me shoosh pap him and we will all be fine!! I cannot fucking believe you would say that. That is so unbelievably stupid i can barely function. I now have a crucial date with a pneumatic drill, to bore a hole in the center of my forehead, deep into the plump anguish bladder which stores my dismay fluid."

Her frightened and once worrisome demeanor had suddenly changed and her face contorted into annoyance."Do moirails kill each other's matesprits!?" You were taken back by her sudden explosion, "No! That’s fucked up Karkat! No amount of shoosh papping will fix that! I thought _you_ of all ‘romcom experts’ who be able to see something like That!" Terezi turns away for a split second and then faces you again. "Seriously bro, when was the last time your paps kept him calm for longer than a day?! Even a few hours!"

Your hands closed into fists, eyes flashing daring her to repeat once more the words that had stung your sides like freshly salted wounds,"Are you serious Terezi?! I can handle this." Your words shot out like hot acid. Terezi just stood there not saying a single goddamn word. You suddenly felt quite guilty again, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The white hot feeling in the core of your stomach slowly started to die down, you opened your eyes. "Look, wether or not i can handle him, we cant just let him run loose, can we?? I _am_ going to go calm him down, but if you feel the need to fucking protect me from my own fucking moirail, then feel free to tag along. But either way we have to make sure he doesn't run fucking loose!" You began to walk in the direction Terezi had come from.

"There’s gotta be a point when- Karkat wait!" Her voice panicked, "Karkat stop!!!" she ran right in front of you putting her hands up in defense. You stopped dead in your tracks listening to what she had to say, "Think about it for two fucking seconds! He’s lost his thinkpan, he practically threw it off the meteor himself! We could.. we could….We can’t fight him. Maybe… maybe we could get out of here!"

"What?! Terezi we just can't abandon Kanaya!" You stood there dumbfounded. What the hell was she thinking?

"KK are you honestly worried about Kanaya? She can hold her own against him, I have no doubt, she fucking sliced Ampora in _half_. Not to mention beat the shit outta vris and Gamzee, his bulge won’t be happy to see her again. We can contact her when we found somewhere safe, it’ll be okay! Can you trust me Karkat? Come on we have to leave!" Terezi grabbed your wrist holding you in place, she really seemed determined to convince you.

That white hot feeling in the core of your stomach was being fueled again, "No Terezi! I have hand enough deaths on this fucking meteor, and I am _certainly_ _not_  having any more before we meet the humans!" You ripped your wrist away. "Your plan sounds smart, but you are a fucking idiot if you think that I wont make sure everyones safe before we get the fuck out of here!" You paused for a moment thinking then begin to walk away and called over your shoulder. "Look, I'll meet you here in half an hour with Kanaya. Just stay safe until then, okay?"

Terezi's hand was still outstretched from you ripping your away, she pulled it close to her chest and uttered, "Hurry you fucking idiot" A few tears rolled down her cheek as she turned and ran to find a place to hide.

* * *

 

You had to find Kanaya, the quicker the better. Once the three of you were together you all could make a plan. So you picked up your speed. It was so hard to believe this was happening all over again, you really thought you had gotten through to Gamzee. You really thought you were a good moirail, but you guess you were wrong. You were always wrong.

Your breathing and heartbeat began to increase as your ears filled with white noise. The thumping of the soles of your sneakers against the concrete filled the hallway. Anyone close by could hear you coming a mile away. You felt extremely vulnerable, anyone could hear you. Anyone could attack you right now. You took out your sickle in hopes to make you feel safer. It didn't work.

You felt yourself start to become exhausted but you didn't care, you had to keep going. Turning the corner you crashed into something, or rather someone. You fall to the ground with a loud thump. Gazing up at the figure your gripped your sickle tighter,"Gamzee!"

He turned around, his face twisted in horror and agony. Was...was he shaking? Holy fuck he was. You slowly put your sickle away standing up.

"Karkat...you got t-to motherfucking help me." His voice was soft and oh my god he was stuttering, your heart nearly cracked in half. He looked so...so small and scared. Almost like a kicked barkbeast, you had never once thought he was capable of looking like one.

"Wha- what the actual fuck Gamzee?! Are you okay?" You couldn't help but ask, he was your moirail for fucks sake. You couldn't just stop feeling pale for him just because he started going crazy. 

Gamzee winced taking a step backwards, "I...I can't...I'm gonna motherfucking lose it!" He looked at you with pain in his eyes. "I don't want....I dont want to motherfucking hurt no one, b-brother... I need you."

Your eyes widened at his statement. Ever since you two had become moirails he had never really outwardly expressed needing you. I mean you always knew he did, he had to...right? However actually hearing him say it made you feel good but also really awful. You are so horrible. You were going to abandon him when he needed you the most. You were going to run away from him! He didn't deserve you. Gamzee is just a troubled kid and it wasn't his fault he had emotional issues. 

Your voice cracked, you needed to help him. You needed to be a better moirail. "Gamzee...It's okay. I can fix this. You won't hurt anyone." You opened your arms to him. "Just come here and everything will be okay."

"T-thank you!" Gamzee cautiously walked over, wrapped his long arms around you, nuzzling his face into the top of your head taking your smell in. "You are a motherfuckin miracle."

"Shoosh" You began to pap him. He tightened his arms, squeezing some of the air out of your lungs but you didn't care. "Shoosh" All you needed to was make him feel relaxed and calm.

"You know what else you are?" He asked.

You looked up at him, "What?"

He dug his nails into your skin, slamming you against the wall knocking the wind out of you. You gasped for air and Gamzee just laughed, he jus fucking laughed as he pined you in place with his body weight. He smirked. "A. Motherfucking. SUCKER!"

He used his now free hands to cover you nose and mouth. "Thats what you are!" Your eyes widened. Gamzee grins as your heart rate sped up. You wanted to break free, you needed to break free. Getting Terezi, Kanaya, and yourself far far away from him was supposed to be your goal, not to try and calm him down. You begin to feel light headed as your lungs screamed for air. You're a fucking idiot. How could you fall right into his plan. He was right.....you really are...a sucker.

A damned fool.  

Your world faded to darkness. 


	2. The Rising Carnival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning, the events in this chapter contain lots of gore and violence.  
> If this isnt your thing then i dont know what your doing reading this.

Karkat Wake up.

* * *

Your eyes fluttered open as a piercing ache rippled through out your head. Letting your head drop, you squeezed your eyes shut. How long had you been out for? You instinctively reached up to clutch your head...but you couldn't?! You couldn't move your fucking hands. Heart beating faster than before you felt the cold metal bracelets rub up and down your wrists. Extending your neck you looked over your shoulder to only have your panic levels increase.

You were currently sitting on the floor handcuffed to a desk.

Slowly you lifted your head up to only see Gamzee's back, he stood across the room adjusting something on the wall. You began to struggle against your restraints, trying to break free, like hell if you were going to wait and see what awful thing he had planned for the two of you. You had to find Kanaya. Gamzee began to chuckle to himself as he heard you moving.

He still had his back to you as he spoke "What is up my invertebrother? Had a good motherfuckin nap?" You could hear him click something in place, which caused a shiver to run down your spine.

"Fuck off." Your voice shook as your eyes darted all around the dark room looking for away to escape. "Gamzee please," You looked back to him, "you don't have to do this. Just let me go."

Gamzee turned around smirking exposing what he had been putting on the wall. Your eyes widened as you lunged towards her to only be held in place. "Terezi!" You screamed. Oh god no. You looked at her unconscious body and hoped, prayed even that she was alive. You wouldn't be able to handle it if she was dead. Although you would never admit it, there was a tiny part of you hoping she was dead. A tiny part of you wanted her to be spraed of Gmazee's sick twisted games. "Oh god..is-is she dead?!" 

Gamzee didn't even look back at you when you asked the question. He was too busy adjusting Terezi again, making sure to prop her up and chain her to the pipes on the walls of the room so she was upright. After finishing this, Gamzee turned around to face you. "Oh you stupid motherfucker," His voice was dangerously calm. "of course she is alive."

You swallowed hard shaking a bit, Gamzee began to slowly walk over to the table next to her. His expression cold and hard, he ran his fingers lightly over the table. Gamzee picked up a small hunting knife, admiring it closely. He suddenly gripped it tight, head snapping your direction. The look in his eyes made your heart beat so fast you thought it was going to break out of your ribcage. Gamzee smiled wide practically screaming "Killing her would ruin all the fun!" **  
**

You flinched at the sudden increase of his voice, "What are you going to do to her you braindead moronic fucklit?!" 

He shook his head twirling the knife between his fingers. His demeanor was one of a child's, he spoke as if he was defending a completely innocent action. "Awwww Karbro, I'm just gonna have some motherfuckin fun!" 

It was horrific. "Fun?!" You practically screamed. 

Gamzee put the knife back onto the table then walked over to you, kneeling down and began to run his fingers through your hair, mockingly reassuring "No hard motherfucking feelings, right brother?" He smiled at you lazily as your eyes went wide in a paralyzed state. He couldn't be fucking serious?! Could he?

You jerk your head away wanting no comfort from him. "Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me." You had spit every word with acid. "Gamzee don't do this. For the love of the nonexistent god that laughs at every horrible thing that gets thrown our way, don't fucking do this!" If you weren't tied up you might of considered getting on your knees and beg him to listen to your hopeless pleas.  **  
**

Gamzee's eye twitched as he wrinkled his nose. His face suddenly not so motherfuckin joyous. Annoyed by your reaction, gamzee's fingers fisted in your hair gripping it tight. He yanked your head over towards him, your scalp burned as he forced you to make eye contact. "Consider it already done," He paused for a moment staring into your eyes then threw your head back slamming it against the leg of the desk, you cried out in pain as he stood up looking down at you "and brotheryou get front row seats to my performance."

Head pounding, you couldn't stop trying to get through to him. Somewhere deep down he had to realize this was wrong."Stop! Please Gamzee, I'm begging you! If our moirallegiance means anything to- **"**

"Enough!" He screamed, "Begging like a weak ass wriggler wont get you nothing, my candy blooded brother. Besides-" A groan escaped Terezi's lips cutting off Gamzee off. He stood up turning to her with a wicked smile plastered on his lips. "Well well well! If it isn't Ms. Legisacerator herself. Did ya have nice nap baby girl?"

All you could do was watch in agony unable to help her, as she struggled against her restraints, lifting her head, "What the…" Terezi's voice was groggy. Oh god She had no idea what was going on.

"Terezi!" You screamed as Gamzee eye's light up as he watched the scene before him unfold. 

"P-pipe down Karkat, I just woke up..." She looked over to where you where chained up, her eyebrows scrunched together as she tipped her head to the side. Relizatuion had not hit her yet. "What's going on..."

 Before you could even get another word out Gamzee calmly walked up to Terezi and punched her as hard as he could in the nose, she shrieked an ungodly scream as teal blood splattered everywhere, a few drops landed on your cheek all the way from across the room. The loud crack of bone was even audible to you, knowing exactly what he was trying to accomplish you sat there unable to speak.

"Fuck! Fuck!" Terezi cried out, struggling against her handcuffs, she tried to wipe away the blood from her nose. Gamzee just smiled wider and wider as Terezi was going into hysterics. "Fuck, I can't fucking see!!"

Gamzee's expression changed drastically as he no longer found Terezi's fear amusing, more annoying. He suddenly yelled "I thought you were tougher than that, Baby girl! I've only just begun." Gamzee unearths a cup of something from his modus that looks like its boiling. You looked from the scalding hot liquid to Terezi, back and forth, with wide eyes.

She desperately tried to maintain her tough demeanor but you watched all the color drain from her face. 'E-Eat shit you fuck." Terezi said through clenched teeth. Your stomach was doing flips, he was going to fucking mutilate her right before your own eyes. You figured this was some sort of sick twisted punishment the universe was installing upon you for failing at everything you do. 

"Oh! Don't worry, I know for a motherfucking fact that this will make you feel so much better." He took a deep breath, smiling as he drank up this moment. The moment that made you want to vomit, but to Gamzee it was so much more than that. It...it was motherfucking glorious. 

"Get that shit away from me" Terezi kicked and screamed at him. She jerked her body forward bitting at Gamzee, to only be held in place by her handcuffs. Gmazee just smiled rushing her, using his free hand he gripped her jaw so hard he slammed her head against the wall. You flinched when Terezi cried out in pain. Taking this opportunity he squeezed his hand tight keeping her mouth open.   

He whispered "Drink up, Terecita!" Gamzee poured the scaling hot liquid down her throat, she began to cough it up violently. Her whole body jerked this way and that, she looked as though she was being electrocuted. She screamed, a scream that came from with in. A scream that was torturous to listen to. Teal tears streamed out of her eyes. The way her body contorted and twisted was down right disturbing and there was absolutely nothing you could do to help her. You sat there frozen with wide eyes.

Gamzee continued to hold her mouth open until he could get her to swallow without choking or screaming. When he was completely satisfied, his hand dropped by his side as he backed away watching her knees give out. She was dangling by her irritated wrists, her head hung down as she had no energy left to support herself. They only thing she could do was cough and hack up teal.

After a few moments of silence Gamzee kicked her once and watched her swing back and forth limply. Tears clouded your vision, no... no no no! Oh god she couldn't be dead. You watched as the blood dripped out of her mouth splattering on the floor. Gamzee just stood there pouting. "Aww, little girl went to sleep. Thats no motherfucking fun."

You finally find the strength to speak, "Sh-she isn't d-dead?" but your voice came out so meek and small it was barely above a whisper. Never in a million sweeps would you of thought your voice could sound like that. You sat there defeated, eyes glued to the puddle of teal on the ground. This was all your fault. Nothing you could say or do could change that fact. "oh my god fucking shit..."

Gamzee just smiled cheerfully, totally ignoring you. He had other things running through his thinkpan. "I guess..." He paused before nearly yelling his head off, "We are just gonna have to wake her up!!"

Your head snapped up, nostrils flaring. He wasn't seriously going to continue this horror show?! But the crazed look in his eyes told you other wise. "You taintchafing fucksquatting bulgesucker!" You screamed at him as your blood began to boil, "Stop this shitfest! You've had your fucking fun! I-I mean you already painted the floors teal what more could your shitty vacuous processor you call your thinkpan want?!" Breathing faster than before you waited for his response, a reaction, anything to indicate there was still a shred of your sweet morial left...

Nothing.

Just a giddy stare to meet your own. Your stomach turned to ice when you saw no change. "Just! Just fucki-" your voice cracked, "just st-stop...Please."

Gamzee simply looked over at you and sighed over dramatically. "Oh brother, Dear. Sweet. Precious! Karbro!" He turned around facing Terezi's unconscious body and casually picked up Terezi's cane which had be conveniently placed right by her feet, "I'm Just getting started. Let's see if this wakes the sister up!" Before you could even beg him to stop Gamzee drove the cane right into her shoulder, pinning her to the wall in a spray of teal. The sound of her flesh ripping made you almost gag. Her body just hung there like a rag doll. It seem that she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon.

You were completely loosing it. Too many awful thoughts ran through your mind. What if she was dead?! And all Gamzee was doing was mutilating her corpse. That was so disturbing you hoped it couldn't be true... but that would mean if she wasn't dead- oh god oh god! You began to thrash as much as you could, you had to break your handcuffs, you had to get to her, you had to stop him, you had to protect her. "Stop!" You cried out "Stop she's had enough!" Tears peaked the edge of your visions as Gamzee just laughed at you. "P-please....stop."

Gamzee ignored your cries and instead focused on terezis limp body before him for a moment then turned around towards you. "Oh, you think she's had enough?" He slowly stalked over to you, "What makes you think that?" His voice was dangerously calm.

You looked up at him as you felt a few tears run down your face, oh god you were crying. You felt so pathetic, I mean you were. You were a goddamn mess. "G-Gamzee, pl-please," You looked over to her body and felt a sob rack your body, "oh god."

Gamzee casually sat down next to you, ignoring your pleas. He admired his handiwork with you. "She looks so motherfucking beautiful." He sighed. Your jaw dropped upon hearing him, he was so far gone it was absolutely terrifying. How could someone change so drastically? "How should I make her prettier, palebro?" 

You could felt him shift slightly and turned his gaze onto you, his eyes lingering on your body then to your face. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, too afraid the sight of him would cause you to cry even more. So you just blurted out the first thing you could think of. "Just forget about her and hurt me instead." You froze. Did you just really say that?

There was almost no hesitation in Gamzee"s voice. "I'm sorry brother, but no can motherfucking do." Gamzze suddenly grabbed your jaw forcing you to look into his eyes as dug his nails into your face. You winced at the pain, a sick grin had spread across his face, sending multiple shivers down your spine. "You see..." He spoke far to slowly for your liking, "You're my grand finale."

His words echoed in your ears as your eyes widen. Gamzee smiled drinking in your fear that was clearly radiating off your body. He had let go of your face clearly satisfied with himself. You felt your stomach drop, "What-what the shit stained fuck is that supposed to-"  

Terezi suddenly groaned coughing up teal blood everywhere. Gamzee's threat currently forgotten as your head whipped to face her body just in time to see it violently jerked around. Oh god oh god the pain she must be in must be, couldn't even begin to comprehend it. Standing up Gamzee grinned even wider and walked over to Terezi, tilting her chin up with his hand. "Rise and shine sweetheart! We have a big motherfucking day planned ahead of us!"

Terezi's body stopped spasming enough for her opened her mouth to speak but only bits of gore and teal spilled out to only be accompanied by a series of gurgles. The sound of Gamzee's laugh quickly filled the room. "Girl, you always say you're blind. So! I actually  made it  that you can't see!" He ran his fingers through her hair, smearing her blood although out her hair. 

Your entire body was trembling from...from rage or was it fear? You couldn't tell. There were so many emotions running through you that couldn't differentiate the two. "Terezi!" You called out to her. It was your fault she was bleeding but she had to know you were here, she couldn't think she was alone. 

Terezi looked to where your voice came from. A spark of hope ignited in the pit of your stomach to only be stomped out when Gamzee turned around to look down at you. His gaze cold and unforgiving, he pulled out from his modus a roll of adhesive tape and stalked over to you.

Heart racing you began to beg. "Gamzee pl-please don't do this. Please!. I'm sor-" He cut you off by slapping a piece of tape over your lips, binding them tightly closed.

"Motherfuckin annyoin." He grumbled under his breathe as he went back to Terezi. "As i was saying before I up and got all interrupted." Gamzee grabbed her jaw pulling her head to face him. "You know what you do with something thats useless, Terecita?" 

Terezi jerked her head away from Gamzee and kept her facial expression blank. It seemed she wasn't broken just yet, Terezi held onto the last little piece of dignity she had left. Gamzee turned around facing you and frowned. He began to walk around the room annoyed at Terezi's lack of reaction. He threw up his arms practically screaming, "Fine then, no fun and games." 

You flinched watching in terror as the scene played out before you.

Gamzee voice was suddenly cold. "I'll just motherfucking tell you then." The rapid fluctuation of his voice was beyond disturbing. He suddenly was standing in front of her again and grabbed the knife off the table. "You get rid of useless things!" You could hear the smile in his voice as he brought tip of the knife to Terezi's cheek, just below her eye.

Your eyes widen as you lunged forward. "Mmmfff!"  The tape kept you silent. Seeing Terezi begin to cry and shake with fear made you realize your cheeks were also wet. You didn't remember when you had started crying again.

"How about I do you a favor," he paused enjoying the pain he was inflicting on both of you at the same time without even physically hurting either of you. To him this was a glorious moment, the affect just his words had was a motherfucking miracle. "And get rid of those useless motherfucking bright red eyes of yours?!"

Terezi began to struggle against her restraints, groaning and whimpering. With every sound that came from her you could see how much pain she was in. Your heart leapt into your throat as your pulse increased.

Gamzee gripped the knife tighter, giddy. "I guess thats a yes then!" With that he plunged the knife into Terezi's left eye, a spray of teal splattered onto his face. Terezi screamed and screamed as he twisted the knife gouging out her eye. There was so much blood.

Sobs began to rack your body as more and more tears ran down your face blurring your eye sight. The cuffs had been on for so long your wrist were bleeding and the tape began to feel hot and sweaty. You were fucking disgusting. A complete and utter mess but you deserved it and more. I mean this was all your fault. You fell for Gamzee's tricks, his false promises of moirallegiance. His words were misleading and now she was bleeding.

Gamzee moved the knife right under her other eye. "Why are you motherfucking crying baby girl? Don't cha wanna look like spidersis?!" Terezi whimpered slightly as she violently shook her head causing the blood to fly off her face all around the room. Gamzee sighed and slowly lowered his knife. "Okay then, I wont cut out your other motherfucking red eye then." Gamzee brought his hand up to and cradles the side of Terezi's face, thumb slowly stroking her cheek. Terezi's eye widened as she sighed, closing her eyelids. 

You couldn't believe this, you were stunned. Did Gamzee actually mean it?! Just when you thought there was no end he was merciful.

Not a minute later Gamzee smiled and suddenly drove the thumb he was stroking Terezi's cheek with into her eye, gouging it out in a spray of teal and red. Another scream escaped terezi's lips louder than before but half way through she began to cough up blood, cutting off her scream with a series of gurgles. 

You watched it blankly. He wouldn't stop. He wouldn't fucking stop! Why wouldn't he just stop?!? Gamzee waked over to you, hands covered in what remained of Terezi's eyes. Squatting down in front of you he gingerly cupped your cheeks with his hands, the feeling of the still warm gore now on your cheeks made you gag. He smirked ripping off the tape. You yelped in pain. 

"Teal is such a beautiful color!" He watched you closely, waiting for your reaction. "Isn't it, Palebro!?"

You did not know what to say. What could you say? You could beg but that wouldn't work or you could yell and bitch but you didn't have it in you after witnessing that. You were coming undone. Slowly braking.  "I'm. Not. Your. Palebro...not anymore at least..." There was little you could do to stop your voice from shaking, to stop your tears from coming.

Gamzee just smiled sadly at you, in a mocking manner. "What a shame, maybe if you were a better motherfucking morial, this wouldn't of happened!" His words cut into you like hot knifes.

They held so much truth. Oh god...he was so right. You hung your head in shame, trembling as you sobbed harder than before. This was all your fault, everything that happened to poor Terezi. But it wasn't just your moirallegiance you failed. There were so many other factors to it. If you were a better matespirts, you would of just listened to terezi and left when she wanted to. If you were a better moiral, you could of calmed Gamzee down and non of this would be happen. You were a failure. An error. You were worthless. You were stupid, so fucking stupid.

You watched Gamzee stand up and walk back to Terezi. Knife in one hand, he took one of her restrained hands in his empty one, gently kissing each of her knuckles stoping at her second one to only chop her index finger off with a sickening snap of bone and tendons. 

The only sounds that filled the room was your sobs accompanied by her screams.

* * *

You couldn't stand this anymore. How much time had past? It felt like this had been going on for two sweeps. Last time you looked up Gamzee had pealed all the skin off her left arm and upper shoulder. He-he had just kept going and going, until you had to looked away. It was all too much. God knows what she looked like now.

Summing what little stamina you had left you looked up at Terezi. Your eyes wide and you instantly turn to vomit. O-oh god... She-she was unrecognizable! Most of her skin gone, just muscle tissue and in a few places you could see bone. There was so much teal! It was everywhere, on the walls, the floors. All you could see was teal. You couldn't believe she was still alive.

You had to do something. This had gone on for far too long. So you finally spoke up after hours and hours of listening to her screams die out. Only then did you speak "Gamzee...Gamzee." Your voice was small and hoarse. Gamzee slowly turned around. He was covered head to toe in bright teal gore and smiling like a lunatic. The sight of him made you gag.

"What is it, my motherfucking most precious of best friends?" Gamzee dropped the blood covered knife he had been holding and walked over to you. You couldn't bare to look at him but forced yourself to do it any way.  

 "Gamzee could- I was wondering..." What could you even ask for? Would this even work or would he just laugh at you?

"Spit it the motherfuck out Karbro." His expression was turning cold. This could be your only chance so you blurt out the only thing that came to mind. 

"Could I, please for the love of god. Please c-could I say say my-my last goodbye to her before she passes out again?" You cried out.

Gamzee knelt down in front of you and cradled your face with his bloody hands, causing you to swallow your disgust and look him in the eyes. He smiled a sickly sweet smile that made your skin crawl. "Well how could I say no to a brother who is so all up and polite?" Gamzee reached behind you and released your bleeding wrists from the cuffs.

Your eyes widened as you moved your aching arms in front of you. He-he actually agreed?! Suddenly he grabbed the collar of your shirt pulling very close to him, his eye narrowed, "But! If you try anything brother, I will never let her motherfucking die, are we clear?" 

You nodded. "Crystal."

Gamzee shoved you to the ground as he stood up. He walked over to the wall adjacent to the one Terezi (er what was left of her) was chained to, and began to finger paint on it.

You stood up on two shaky legs and began to slowly walk towards her. She must be in so much pain, she probably could barely understand what was going on. As you took another step you slipped on the wet floor. Falling you extended your hands to brace the fall, which really didn't help that much because they slid as well. Gamzee just laughed at you. Oh god you-you were covered in teal. You were going to be sick.

Your hands did not just land on the sticky, wet floor, you felt something cold and sharp under them. You looked under your hand and realized what was there. Without hesitation you knew what you had to do. While Gamzee was distracted by laughing his ass off you quickly grabbed the knife sliding it into your sleeve.

"Tick-tock Karbro." He sang.

You quickly stood up, your entire body trembling as you faced what was left of Terezi, the pool of teal blood under your feet began to seep into your shoes. You felt so gross. Now standing in front of her you try and find the words to say. "T-terezi?" Your voice cracked, barely above a whisper, "Can y-you hear me?"

Terezi slowly looked up upon hearing that all to familiar voice. She barely opened her mouth and immediately blood poured out as a small groan escaped her lips, it sound as though she made a k sound. Tears filled your eyes, she knew it was you, holy crap she was still in there. She was tsill somewhat aware of what was going on. Your heart has never hurt this much as a sob escaped your lips.

You felt the knife press against your raw wrist in your sleeve, you winced. This had to be done. "Y-yeah Terezi... It's me... I-im right here. I-its' all gonna be okay. I promise." You lied as you drew in a sharp intake of breath and pushed down the ice in your stomach. The guilt was over whelming. "I am sorry Terezi. I am truly sorry we ever fell flushed or each other. I'm sorry for everything. If it wasn't for me you would okay. I ruin everything I touch, including you." You pause fighting back your sobs, "And most of all, I am so fucking sorry I love you." You closed your eyes, wincing as you slit Terezi's throat.

Terezi made choking nosies as her body spasmed. With her last breath she mouthed one thing to you. 'Don't turn your back on the bodies.' With that she died. You had no idea what she meant by that nor did you have enough time to think about it before Gamzee whirled around at You screaming, infuriated. Never had you seen Gamzee that furious. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST MOTHERFUCKING DO??!?"

You griped the knife tightly in your bloody hand. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck! This was not going to end well and you knew it "I freed her." You stood your ground.

"No!" Gamzee ran up to you and slamming your bod next to Terezi's against the blood covered wall, seething with rage. "You motherfucking ruined my fun is what you motherfucking did!"


	3. No Escape.

Karkat prepare to be saved.

* * *

 

You cried out in fear. The more Gamzee pressed you against the wall the more the now cold blood seeped through your shirt. You wanted to gag but had to hold it down. Right now you had more important things on your mind. You had to get away from Gamzee. You gripped the knife in your shaky hand, ready to strike. 

...

You gripped the knife tighter in your still shaky hand ready to strike....Fuck. You could barely even function, let alone defend yourself. How could anyone fight after witnessing what you just did? You drop the knife. It was pointless to try.

Gamzee dug his nails deep into your skin as he screamed at you. You felt as though you were in a fog, you couldn't even hear him. He was just white noise. The feeling of her blood coating your skin under your shirt was all too much, having to listen to her scream in agony was all too much, being the one who had to slit her own goddamn throat was too much. With everything you had just gone through how could you be able to fight after witnessing that?

You were so far lost in your own thought you didn't even register Kanaya had ran into the room, chainsaw at the ready. She gasped as she saw what the room had contained. She could barely move, paralyzed by...well everything. It wasn't until Gamzee screamed, shocking the both of you out of whatever state of mind you were in. "Are you even motherfucking listing to me?!?" Not waiting for you to respond he grabbed a fistful of your hair and slammed your head against the wall over and over and over. With every jerk you cried out louder than before.

Kanaya raised her chainsaw, "Get away from him!!" and charged at you and Gamzee.

You looked to Kanaya with wide eyes, No! She couldn't see this! This was far too horrifying for anyone to see! This mess that was your fault...all your fucking fault. Oh God Terezi. You looked over to Terezi one last time with tears in your eyes and the sight of her made your knees give out.

Gamzee only had enough time to turn around before kanaya drove the chainsaw through his chest, screaming. There was a spray of purple that coated Kanaya and you. You dropped to the floor with your morial's fresh blood on you. You were shaking, you looked up to watch Kanaya wrench the chainsaw out of Gamzee with your mouth ajar. His body fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Kanaya turned her chainsaw off and pushed Gamzee's limp body away from you, more purple spraying everywhere. She kneeled down in front of you, seeing the look on your face almost made her lose her composure. Even though it was a gentle touch you still flinched slightly when Kanaya grabbed your shoulders. The whole room was spinning. 

Her voice was soft and calming but full of concern, "Karkat! Are you alright?"

You bit your lip, eyes dancing to every corner. It soon became overwhelming, your breathing and heartbeat beginning to speed. Alight?! How could she even ask you such ridiculous question! Your face twisted up in pure sorrow and pain. The tears you had thought that could no longer come ran down your face. Throwing your arms around her you hugged her, sobbing about how this was your fault.

Kanaya wrapped you up in a tight hug, shushing you as she ran her long and slender fingers through your hair. She bit her lip, "Karkat...Karkat it is okay now. I have you now. I am right here-" She paused braking the hug for a moment your look in your eyes "What do you you mean it's your fault?"

You scoffed, lip quivering. "isn't it fucking obvious- I-I mean come on Kanaya." You were so emotionally distraught the words coming out of your mouth soon became slurred and incomprehensible. Kanaya didn't even hesitate to pull you into a hug again.

You just sobbed louder into her hug. You were rising into hysterics. Your body was trembling as it became harder to breath. You could feel your heart beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode. What the hell was going on with you?! It felt like whole world was collapsing in on you and all you could was watch helplessly. 

 

Suddenly you were pulled to your feet. You looked to Kanaya, eyes were wide as she gripped your shoulders tighter. Her voice was deathly calm.

"Karkat. We have to leave now." 

"W-what do you-?"

"Karkat! We have to leave NOW!"

Before you could even finish utter another sentence she grabbed your hand dragging you out of the room and down the hall. Stumbling after her you glanced behind to see Gamzee staggered into the hallway, swaying a little. His fists clenched as he screamed, "I'm going to motherfucking rip you apart!" His voice shook the entire hallway. 

You grabbed Kanaya's hand tight as your stomach began doing flips. Oh god. Oh god. The fear you felt burned within your core, eliminating any and all other emotions you had felt earlier. "Kanaya what the fuck do we do?" Your voice cracked as you looked up back to her.

Kanaya didn't answer you, she just dragged you faster down the hall bitting her lip. You both turned the corner covered in blood and traumatized. It was clear to you that Kanaya was just as frightened as you were, she just didn't want to show it. The sounds of Gamzee's hurried stomps made you run as fast as you possibly could. But only you had no idea where to. Your mind was still swirling around that dark teal stained room. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bad times ahead B)


End file.
